Book List 2009

N O N F I C T I O N
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The End of Democracy
By Naomi Wolf
pub. 2007

Within the first chapter of the book the author clarifies that she is not, in any way, comparing George W. Bush to Adolf Hitler or the Bush regime to Stalin's Russia or Pinochet's Chile. She makes it very clear that there are uncountable differences that separate 2007 U.S. with 1940's Germany. The author immediately and expectedly recounts the innumerable ways in which the Bush administration carried itself exactly like these dictatorships. Less frightening now than it would've been had I read it two years ago.

Mike Miller: The Anatomy Of A Girly-Man

It's long been documented over the last two seasons how much 2001 Rookie of the Year, Mike Miller, resembles a WNBA player. Really, I'm surprised this post hasn't happened sooner.

Below is a comparison chart of Washington's Mike Miller and a completely randomly chosen WNBA player who just happens to be named Miller (Coco Miller, to be exact), happens to have played for a Washington D.C. team, happens to have also entered the league in 2001 and happens to look friggin' exactly like Mike Miller. Oh. Also, if you flip Mike Miller's No. 6, what do you get? Yeah. Total coincidence.

Six Characteristics of a WNBA-er in an NBA-er's Body

1. Unruly hair undone from their ponytail caused by hard, but ultimately futile, gameplay.
2. Skinny-yet-toned arms that are technically healthy, but add to an overall awkward appearance.
3. Role-player position on a mid-level franchise, perfect for remaining anonymous in plain site.
4. Text-book form that plays well in college, but will not generate more than 13.8 points per game.
5. Chiseled features that portray a certain, um ... rough delicacy.
6. Headband. Check.

Mike Miller has to know he resembles 80 percent of the Caucasian contingent of the WNBA, right? And if he doesn't, where are his family and friends on this one?

Heck, even from behind ... same thing. Dude looks like a lady.

So where do we go from here?

The jokes are starting to get stale, yet there's Mike Miller, getting girlier and girlier each month. Is this strategy to psyche-out the other team? Like when bugs Bunny dressed up as that creepy lipsticked girl-bunny?

That won't work, Mike Miller. Not if you've seen some of the wives these guys have. Your stubble's just not pretty enough.

Look at these two pictures. Can you tell which one is the WNBA player? You can't, can you?

... All right, it was a trick question. They're both Mike Miller. But be honest, it took you longer than it should have to figure that out.