The Eventual Fall of Sarah Palin

PALIN COMPARISON: This election won't always be about Sarah Palin, but
hopefully by listing enough examples of her incompetence, her fall will arrive
more rapidly

The most precient moment of what was widely considered a stirring speech given by presidential nominee Barack Obama at the Democratic National Convention capped off a litany of failed policies enacted during the Bush administration. Failure after failure hitting the audience like bullet shells on concrete, all of it ending immediately and harshly with a single poignant word:

Enough.

The second presidential debate aired tonight between Sens. Obama and John McCain. Amid a blinding storm of Palin-bashing and defending, I had forgotten who really matters in this election. I'm not the only one. Palin is insignificant, so insignificant in fact, that I plan to devote this entire blog entry to her. She's so insignificant that she is resurrecting the ratings of "Saturday Night Live," successfully taken the focus off of many campaign flubs McCain has committed since naming her as the Republican vice-presidential nominee (besides the flub of naming her in the first place).

Her possible proximity to the White House is farcical. It's as ridiculous as her bottled debate talking points, canned CrackerJack jokes and smug winks to America. But none of this rickety carnival ride would happen if we dismissed it outright and we haven't. We're rubbernecking the wreckage and perhaps setting up for our own crash.

Enough.

When President Bll Clinton was caught with his pants down, those pulling the impeachment strings by which Clinton found himself strung up, clucked continously about the abstract notion of Clinton's character. Americans were fed a healthy dose of "if he's crooked enough to get blown in the Oval Office, what else is he crooked enough to do?" It's an old algebra tactic; if you can't prove an equation, disprove its opposite. Clinton may not be bad, let's use this as an example of why he isn't good.

Apply that philosophy to McCain. Instead of using a snicker-inducing, lowest common denominator blow job, replace it with a snicker-inducing lowest common denominator Alaskan.

+ The McCain campaign did not properly vet Governor Palin. This is to be remembered first and foremost above all else. Perhaps if the Arizona senator had met her more than once, any number of the following topics of conversation would have caused him to look elsewhere for a "Vagina American" to absorb Sen Hillary Clinton's voter base.

+ Troopergate. Why have we started adding -gate to every incident and scandal since the Watergate break-in? Gate as a suffix, has no real meaning. It's like after Alex Rodriguez became A-Rod, nicknames simply became the mixture of bits of someone's first and last name. J-Lo, Li-Lo and eventually Brangelina and TomKat. Anyway...

Madame Governor improperly interfered in the investigation of an ex-brother-in law and failed to come clean about it more than once.

+ Gov. Palin inexplicably watches sketch comedy programming with the sound down. Imagine some comic dressed like you, talking like you, representing a funhouse mirror of how you act; wouldn't you be interested in hearing what that comic was saying, or at least, how he or she was saying it? Palin isn't. She said she had "the volume all the way down." She also added that even though she "didn't hear a word [Fey] said... [she] thought it was hilarious... spot on."

She's not only a poor liar, she's a non-sensical one. Why admit you watched it if you're just going to tell people you were staring at flickering images (of you) without curiosity as to the meaning?

+ Former McCain political strategist Mike Murphy and former Reagan speech-writer Peggy Noonan were on MSNBC discussing the Palin selection with Chuck Todd. The cameras stopped rolling (sort of) and the mics stayed on.

+ Gov. Palin co-opted McCain's "maverick" identity along with her opposition to earmarks despite aggressively pursuing earmarks for her Alaskan hometown.

+ Sarah Palin claimed military experience as commander-in-chief of the Alaska National Guard - when she had never issued a single order.

I did a week's work of stunt striving for "The Dark Knight" last spring, does that make me a movie star?

+ At the Republican National Convention, Sarah Palin employed the same philosophical advertisement for her ticket mate that the CW did for season two of "Gossip Girl."

"Harry Reid, the majority leader of the current do-nothing Senate. said, 'I can't stand John McCain.' Ladies and gentleman, perhaps no accolade is better proof that we've chosen the right man."

Now take a look at the teen smut show print ads to the left. Criticism-as-promotion.

+ Gov. Palin's pro-women without actually...y'know supporting most big-ticket women's issues such as forced pregnancy abortion.

+ Sarah Palin is against sex education preferring instead that children learn how to avoid turning out like her daughter Bristol through osmosis apparently. And she supports abstinence-only education, despite her oldest daughter, unmarried and as big as Katharine Heigl at the end of "Knocked Up" when they gave her that extra big prosthetic tummy.

+ Gov. Palin's botched interview with Katie Couric forced Sen. John McCain to cancel his appearance on David Letterman, do his own interview with Couric in hopes of taking away some of his own vice-presidential candidate's air time. Check out the damage done, when McCain was a "Late Night" no-show.

+ Alright, here's a quick finish in case you remain unconvinced that Madame Palin must be kept as far away from the White House as... well, as Alaska, let's say.

The Alaskan govenor isn't pro-woman. She's the right-hand, er...um, woman of a man who voted against the Lily Ledbetter bill designed to enhance the power to fight against wage disparagement between men and women. + She didn't sell a jet on eBay as she claimed. + She didn't fire her Governor's personal chef as she claimed. + She was for, then against, the for and she's now currently against (again) the Bridge to Nowhere. + I'll mention the Bush Doctrine here too. + There was her mispronunciation of Gen. David McKiernan as "McClellan" at the vice-presidential debate on Oct. 2.

What am I forgetting?

Here's a few other items I haven't listed:

Enough.