Best Ofs 2008

For those of you who know me... or know at least one male, it shouldn't surprise you that I/we painstakingly like to compile, categorize and

rank all the meaningless drivel we spend our free time accumulating and consuming.

Frankly, these lists are the only way I can justify the amount of time I spend not making myself smarter, more fit or more accomplished.

If it weren't for these lists, I might start feeling like a loser.

Enjoy.

Top 20 Movies of 2008
(59 movies total)

20.Rachel Getting Married (3.0, October)
19. Tropic Thunder (3.0, August)
18. Cloverfield (3.0, January)
17. Leatherheads (3.0, April)
16. The Changeling (3.0, November)

15. Stepbrothers (3.0, July)
14. Funny Games (3.0, April)
13. Hancock (3.0, July)
12. Slumdog Millionaire (3.0)
11. Forgetting Sarah Marshall (3.0, April)

10. Ironman (3.0, May)
09. Wall-E (3.5, June)
08. Frost/Nixon (3.5)
07. The Wrestler (3.5, December)
06. Milk (3.5, December)
05. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (3.5, December)
04. Burn After Reading (3.5, September)
03. Revolutionary Road (4.0)
02. Doubt (4.0, December)
01. The Dark Knight (4.0, July)


Top 25 Songs of 2008

25. Jack Killed Mom - Jenny Lewis
24. Lost+ - Coldplay (feat. Jay-Z)
23. Gamma Ray - Beck
22. The '59 Sound - Gaslight Anthem
21. Geraldine - Glasvegas
20. Mr. Pitiful - Matt Costa
19. Pork and Beans - Weezer
18. Viva La Vida - Coldplay
17. Go Square Go - Glasvegas
16. M79 - Vampire Weekend
15. New Years Day - The Caesars
14. The Iron Wheel - The Nightwatchman (feat. Shooter Jennings)
13. We Are Winning - Flobots
12. Ottoman - Vampire Weekend
11. Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend
10. California Girls - The Magnetic Fields
9. The Wrestler - Bruce Springsteen
8. Hold Up - The Raconteurs
7. Troublemaker - Weezer
6. Don't Forget Sister - Low vs. Diamond
5. Too Drunk to Dream - The Magnetic Fields
4. Handlebars - Flobots
3. Campus - Vampire Weekend
2. NYC - Gone, Gone - Conor Oberst
1. Salute Your Solution - The Raconteurs


TOP 10 ALBUMS of 2008


10. Stay Positive - The Hold Steady

If you like Springsteen, you'll like The Hold Steady, mostly because the Hold Steady really like Springsteen and Springsteen really likes the Hold Steady. Logically, the Hold Steady and Springsteen really like you too, which is nice. Big ups to bar bands. (1.91 rating)

09. Here We Stand - The Fratellis

There weren't any bad songs on The Fratellis' last album "Costello Music," just as there aren't any bad songs here. The Fratellis don't really make bad songs, they just seem to make fewer awesome songs with each new album...at least so far. (1.91 rating)

08. Acid Tongue - Jenny Lewis

Remember Jenny Lewis from "Mr. Belvedere?" Jenny Lewis was totally in "Mr. Belvedere" and although I haven't yet listened to "Bob Uecker Sings Tom Waits Songs," I'm pretty sure this album is the best record from any former member of that show. Also, Elvis Costello's choked voice makes a cameo, which people my age have told me is pretty great. (1.92 rating)

07. Distortion - The Magnetic Fields

You'll hear no better collection of ironic songs about hating beautiful girls, loving the slutty life or how much better being drunk is than being sober. Nuff said. (2.00 rating)

06. Glasvegas - Glasvegas

These Scottish dudes really like Phil Spector, the f-word in their choruses, The Raveonettes, feedback, Jesus and the Mary Chain and The Ramones. And you know what? So do I. (2.10 rating)

05. The Rhumb Line - Ra Ra Riot

It's a good sign that seemingly more bands are embracing more orchestral sounds on their albums. This light was ignited with Coldplay and Arcade Fire and seemingly continues with Vampire Weekend and here with Ra Ra Riot's second album. The liner notes for Vampire Weekend's album thanks Riot. Good enough for me. (2.10 rating)

04. Fight with Tools - Flobots

I've heard this album described as conscientious flow for a more responsible youth movement and I've heard this album described as pretentious hip-hop for laymen CNN viewers. At times it's both, but it always provides images to think about and an orchestral heartbeat that thumps this album past all others of its kind this year. (2.17 rating)

03. Weezer (The Red Album) - Weezer

The cover of Weezer's sixth album appropriately informs its content: familiar design, goofy posing. The good news is the band sticks to the familiar (a bunch of short geek-rock songs, rhyme dictionary-infused lyrics and one long form opus that graces most Weezer albums). The bad news is that I'm older and a little less tolerant of it all than I used to be. (2.30 rating)

02. Consolers of the Lonely - The Raconteurs

There are only a few musicians or groups that innately mirror my own music philosophy and emotional direction. Jack White has been that for me for more than a year. I know little about him personally, but aurally, White's influence over every group of which he's a part has greatly informed my musical vocabulary. (2.50 rating)

01. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

With a rock lineage tracing back to the Kinks and especially Paul Simon, this deceptively named Ivy League prep band orchestrated song after marvelously intricate song, without having to write a single sensical lyric. (3.00 rating)

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To see my previous rankings visit the 2007 link and the 2006 link

Book List 2008

I'm supposed to be sticking to a one-book-every-two-weeks pace. Finishing grad school and tackling "Atlas Shrugged" has stifled my progress. I'm hoping to motivate (read: embarrass) myself into kicking it up a notch and making up for lost time.

If I don't, that's okay. I've seen more movies and listened to more new albums than you have, so just keep your mouth shut.

FICTION
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Zipped
by Laura and Tom McNeal
pub. 2003

I assume this book was meant to be a beach read, as I literally read the bulk of this book on a Mexican beach. I had trouble deciphering if this story of adolescent love and grown-up adultery was meant for young adults or grown-ups. The mature subject matter which also included rape, neglect, parenting and loneliness was written in such an uncomplicated fashion, I wondered if I was it's intended audience. C+

Rant: An Oral Biography of Buster Casey
by Chuck Palahniuk
pub. 2007

Palahniuk is doing his evil humor-thing again. Really that's all Chuck ever does. As brilliant and provocative as the ideas pulsing and bleeding through this book tend to be, the story is missing the soul to make it matter. Buster "Rant" Casey is a rabid demolition derby-terrorist whose story is told through dozens of short recollections of people who knew him during his life. An interesting style of storytelling, with Palahniuk's normal zest for faux-informative bits, but little else. B-

Snuff
by Chuck Palahniuk
pub. 2008

Since 1999 I have thought of myself as a Chuck Palahniuk fan. I've read all his books, loved the first five, disliked the last five. I'm starting to believe I'm not actually a Palahniuk fan anymore. Palahniuk's been writing about sociopaths in despicable places, such as the porno film set in this story, from the beginning, but there has always been a modicum of creativity and wit. This was Chuck Palahniuk writing what an amateur Palahniuk fan would write if that fan set out to write like Palahniuk. D-

Atlas Shrugged
by Ayn Rand
pub. 1957

This grandiose railroad epic may not be may favorite book of all-time, but it is the only book I've ever labeled as inspiring. "Atlas Shrugged" is a willful, gritty, philosophical hurricane that matches intelligence in storytelling with the beautifully broken brilliance of its characters. I cannot recommend this book more. The only negative mark I can give to the book is the 100-page manifesto that occurs somewhere around page 900. "Atlas Shrugged" is the hilarious stranger that shows up to your house party, tells great jokes, kicks ass at beer-pong and makes out with the hottest girl in attendance. The 100-page manifesto represented the period of the party when that hilarious stranger over-drinks, rambles incoherently on his way to passing out in your recliner and leaves silently in the morning. A

And Then There Were None
by Agatha Christie
pub. 1939

I feared this 69-year-old mystery novel would seem rote and cliched after numerous mediums have borrowed and lifted directly from Christie's work on which the popular "Clue" board game was based. The fact is, this quick read goes by so fast because it's baffling in its simplicity. The story of 10 captive strangers falling farther and farther into fear and paranoia as someone among them kills them one-by-one has been retold so many times by now that I frankly had no clue which way Christie originally went. Without giving anything away, I was never close when guessing how it would end. Isn't that the point of a book like this? A-

The Watchmen
By Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
pub. 1986-1987

There isn't one likable character in this entire graphic novel, which makes it all the more compelling that the huge tome is so fun to read. Let's face it, most of us wouldn't pass up an opportunity to be a superhero, and unless any of start glowing bright blue and can see through time, "The Watchmen" suggests that if you're sick and cynical and face any number of psych-social malfunctions, you're just as likely to be a supehero as anyone else. B+

The Fountainhead
By Ayn Rand
pub. 1943

I'm not sure if it's more tragic that Rand had no friends or that she didn't seem to want any. I'm glad I read "Atlas Shrugged" first because she clearly didn't feel or hadn't fully formed her ideals and objectivist philosophies by the time she ended this book. "Atlas" has more plot and a better romantic expression of Rand's ideal man. Also, without seeing Howie Roark's architectural design, his greatness is told and not shown in the same way John Galt's is. "The Fountainhead" is good, but not compared to the greatness that we know follows. B+


NONFICTION
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IV
by Chuck Klosterman
pub. 2007

Klosterman's "Zoso" is good, but not great. And the reasons it's not a great book are completely hypocritical when compared to "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs." Both books were more or less compilations of previously published material, but Klosterman was a virtually unknown writer when he published his second book (I should know, as I was one of the few who knew him before 2004). I can't give him full props for publishing things I've already given him props for publishing. What saves "IV" are the inserts in between each chapter. Great conversation starters. Book: B Content: A

30: The Collapse of the Great American Newspaper
edited and introduced by Charles M. Madigan
pub. 2007

This book chronicles the many stages of the American newspaper business. Madigan's compilation doesn't uncover or offer much hope for the future of this shifting medium, but the book does uncover the manner in which this medium has weakened. Thoroughly fascinating, not often positive, but always informative. A-

The Pursuit of Happyness
by Chris Gardner
pub. 1994

A friend of mine called the Will Smith adaptation of this book "schmaltz," which frustrated me because I loved the movie so much, yet I don't consider myself a schmaltzy dude. The original material from Chris Gardner is considerably less schmaltzy, because the book details his malfeasances and imperfections as a father and lover. This isn't the feel-good tale its movie adaptation was, but a nevertheless intriguing tale of human internal endurance. B

Being Digital
by Nicholas Negroponte
pub. 1995

First thing's first, this book about digital technology was written in 1995, which in technological terms might as well have been hundreds of years ago. But many found worth in the predictions of Nostradamus, and Negroponte does a eerie job with his own predictions of our technical futures. Negroponte goes a long way toward proving the philosophy and process of technological development, from the lab to the hand of the consumers. More predated history book than anything, but worth reading for that reason. B

I Am America (And So Can You)
by Stephen Colbert
pub. 2007

If you like the Comedy Central show "The Colbert Report," it would be impossible to dismiss this book completely. Colbert offers his followers a belated Cliffs Notes of what makes Colbert who he is. All the hot topics are here: religion, class, sex and relationships, the family, old folks and anything on which Colbert imagines the nation wants to know his thoughts. Funny, but that comes as no surprise. That Colbert managed to keep the book under 1,000 pages however, is shocking. B+

Hammer of the Gods: The Led Zeppelin Saga
by Stephen Davis
pub. 1985, 1997

Although this book reads much like any run-of-the-mill rock bio, Zeppelin is so infamously elusive, the fact that the book exists and is better than some hastily written scrapbook makes it worth a read for even the casual fan. The weakest part of the book is strangely the minimal amount of attention paid to the actual music. Hotel rooms and live happenings make up the bulk of Davis' book, while the creation of some of the most iconic songs in rock history are made to seem effortless and secondary. B+

The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court
by Jeffrey Toobin
pub. 2007

This exhaustive examination of the nine (but really like 15 or so) Supreme Court justices is at times fascinating and at others dull. When Toobin magnifies each justice's peccadilloes (Sutter eats apples whole and moves around his office according to the sun) the book really seems to be uncovering who it is that shape the rules under which we all live. When the author recounts milestones ranging from the 2000 presidential election to the re-examination of Roe v. Wade, the book tends to get mired in a play-by-play of historical fact readily available in many other places. B

The Virtue of Selfishness
by Ayn Rand
pub. 1964

My education on objectivism continued in this thoughtful collection of essays making its case for egoism. Although this 168 page book amounts to little more than the 100+ page soliloquy John Galt gives near the end of "Atlas Shrugged," I absorbed far more by revisiting these deceptively complex ideals in a less contextual form. B+

Fake!: The Story of Elmyr de Hory the Greatest Art Forger of Our Time
by Clifford Irving
pub. 1969

Elmyr de Hory is an artist who, after failing to sell his own work, forged he work of famous artists. For 20 years, de Hory faked an estimated 1,000 art pieces in excess of $60 million. The major theme on which the book's author and subject agree, is that art is subjective and that the fallacy of the art world (in the 1950s and '60s, anyway) is that critics, collectors and sellers all pompously act as if they have an objective insight hat they do not. Clifford Irving, who also has a personal history of faking (Google it) is clearly interested, not in art, but in the art of swindling. His interest makes for a simple and interesting read. B



Below is a pace count. If it's at 14.0 or something close to that, I'm right where I want to be. I think I'm going to be well above that for quite some time.
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365 days in 2008/ 16 books = 22.8 days per book

Chinese Democracy

I finally listened to Guns 'n' Roses' new album "Chinese Democracy," an album that I was admittedly more intrigued by than excited for. This album was not only supposed to come out back when it would have been called a record, but it was also supposed to be awesome. It was supposed to revolutionize - not just rock music - all music.*

* Full disclosure: when "Appetite for Destruction" came out, I was aware of it, but can't claim to have been a fan. My Guns 'n' Roses fandom came retroactively, but I would still argue that it nevertheless came genuinely. I wasn't listening to them to be cool, I would have listened to them in the late eighties if that were the case. I was just listening to other types of things when they were peaking. But because I was aware of them and knew kinda what they were about, I was able to apply that perspective to their music long after it was released.

Paleontologists aren't bandwagon jumpers for discovering truths about dinosaurs millenniums late, they're just tardy.

How revolutionary was "Chinese Democracy" supposed to be? Imagine if John Lennon said the Beatles had something really special planned to make up for "Let it Be?" The "next" G 'n' R album was supposed to be "Stairway to Heaven" big. And unlike the all-too-familiar hype machines surrounding large portions of today's music, G 'n' R fans believed. They believed irrationally perhaps, but they believed. I suppose with some musicians, fans will always believe, no matter how many times they are disappointed. If The Rolling Stones held a press conference tomorrow and said they just finished recording what they consider their best record since "Exile on Main Street" everyone would roll their eyes, talk about how they haven't done anything good since "Some Girls" and then stand in line at the Wal-Mart at four in the morning chomping at the bit to buy it the moment the store opened, even if they had to trample someone to get it.**

**Too soon? It's probably always too soon for Wal-Mart trampling stories, huh? Also, why wouldn't the hypothetical Stones fan just download the thing at midnight from iTunes? Probably because only out-of-touch 90-year-olds enjoy NEW Rolling Stones albums.

And this is why "Chinese Democracy" is worth blogging about (along with posting the superfluous photo of Axl with Bruce to your right). It's the last connection to a dead era that many rock fans wish never died. Most of us never imagined Guns 'n' Roses (or Axl Rose, if we're splitting hairs) had any more music in him, but there was always a miracle possible as long as that album never came out. The Stones came out with "Tattoo You" in 1983, about seven years after many critics first pronounced them dead. The Beach Boys danced with John Stamos to "Kokomo," which was not a good song, but was a big hit and happened decades after Brian Wilson parted ways with the Beach Boys. So maybe, just maybe whenever "Chinese Democracy" came out, it would be a miracle. The kind of miracle that would simultaneousy bring us back to the past and bring the past to us. No Doubt brought back ska and Brian Setzer brought back swing, why can't Guns 'n' Roses bring back legit hair metal?

So...? How is "Chinese Democracy?"

The best way I can think to describe it is to bring you into my living room on February 4, 2007. Many of my friends and I gathered around the television to watch the Bears battle the Colts in Superbowl XLI. People outside of Chicago might not understand, but for those Bears fans reading this, I'm sure you remember Devin Hester's return kickoff for a touchdown on the very first play of the game.



I'm not even a big football fan, but watching that 19 second play was just about the most exhilaratingly unifying moment of joy and relief. That moment was everything Bears fans could have reasonably wanted.

Hester totally and undeniably came through.

That same exhilaration and relief shot through me like a heatseeking missile during the first 90 seconds of the opening title track to "Chinese Democracy." This was what Axl Rose had wanted us to hear. This was it. It was like a pen full of demon dogs unleashed from the gates of Hell. The first 90 seconds of "Chinese Democracy" is unflinchingly miraculous. Axl Rose was about to totally and undeniably come through...

You may recall that the Bears lost the Superbowl 29-17 and Hester's return was the only highlight of the game for the Bears in hindsight. It was a letdown in every way possible and the Bears haven't been the same since.

You're hopefully connecting the dots between my comparison of the Super Bowl to this album. I'd like to think my readers are a little sharp.

"Chinese Democracy" is not a good album.

But we shouldn't be shocked by this, right? It couldn't possibly have been good. It turns out Rose has been stalling, not orchestrating. Shame on us for believing. "Godfather III" wasn't any damn good, why would this album be any different?

The sad-but-true answer is that it's not any different. Not at all...except that heart-stopping/breaking opening minute of the first track on the album. I was hoping to discover my long lost brother was still alive, but he isn't. Instead, I was visited by his ghost. Which might be worse, because it just makes me miss what no longer is there.

If "Chinese Democracy" serves any purpose, it is to absolve me of my hope for great hair metal in the future.

Once and for all.

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