Lauren Graham, 42, a perennial favorite from 2002-2008, ranked 17th last year and 10th in 2007, has officially been retired until a "Gilmore Girls" movie is released or she makes her way onto one of those "Traveling Pants" movies.Others dropped off the list were Michelle Rodriguez (20), Ellen Pompeo (19), Jennifer Connelly (18), Emilie de Ravin (16), Jessica Rose (13) and Kate Hudson (11) This year brings five rookies making their way onto the Top 10 board.
God, I hope I'm not still doing this when I'm 50 years old.
Top 20 Girls My Girlfriend Had Better Watch Out For 2009
Parenthesis indicate last year's rank.
20.
19. Leryn Franco, 27 (-)
18. Christina Aguilera, 30 (5)
17. Hayden Panettierre, 20 (9)
16. Evangeline Lilly, 30 (7)
15. Christina Hendricks, 34 (-)
14. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, 25 (14)
13. Amanda Bynes, 23 (12)
12. Mary Louise Parker, 45 (14)
11. Catherine Zeta-Jones, 40 (5)
10. Emmanuelle Chiriqui, 31 (4) 9. Zooey Deschanel, 29 (-)
8. Mila Kunis, 26 (10) 7. Alexis Bledel, 28 (8)
6. Julianne Hough, 21 (3) 5. Rashida Jones, 33 (-)
4. Maggie Gyllenhaal, 32 (1) 3. Gina Carano, 27 (-)
2. Minka Kelly, 29 (-)
1. Mandy Moore, 25 (2)
I've never included a professional model on any of these lists. I've thought a lot about that while compiling this thing (and masturbating). In the past I've justified not doing it because of my perception that being a model is all models are capable of doing and that beauty cannot be the only reason I would place one woman above thousands of others. I'd like to think of myself as better than that, above that, even on a juvenile list such as this. Perhaps by forcing this list to be more about beauty, I could believe it wasn't as juvenile. Making this list about perceived intelligence and ability coinciding with beauty served the same purpose as putting articles in between pictures of naked Playmates.
It's fucking culture, man.
Two things are true for this list: 1) I find Miranda Kerr and Adriana Lima far, far more attractive than most of the girls that ended up in my top 10. 2) I never once considered putting Miranda Kerr or Adriana Lima on this list.
And that's supremely confusing to me because I don't have any real reason why I never considered it. Perhaps this list is just as much about perceived intelligence as it is about attractiveness. And even if our actresses or musicians don't play smart roles or sing intelligent songs, maybe the ability to have learned how to sing or act is enough to convince me that the hampster is on the wheel. That would explain why I left Kim Kardashian off. As attractive as I find her, I cannot get around how vapid she appears to be.
But then there's Heidi Klum. She's making more money from the two television shows she's created (and from the Vicoria's Secret specials that she produces) than from any modeling gig she's ever done. If nothing else, Klum has proven she's got tons of business savvy. I certainly don't think she's as vapid as Kardashian. But Klum ain't making this list either. And I think that's based on my perception that although she's friggin' gorgeous and intelligent, she's also not very kind. And I'm just not into that.
If I'm going to canonize people, I'd like to believe they're not bitches. For as much (and as long) as I liked Catherine Zeta-Jones, this was always her one drawback: she seems like a bitch - mostly because she's made a career playing bitches.
And I guess that's the one flaw about these lists - I don't put enough weight on beauty. I weigh their work and my perception of what they brought to a song or a role. Instead of enjoying Christina Hendricks' monster, monster bombs on "Mad Men" I consider that I haven't seen her do anything else other than that role. I find myself turned-off by my perception that Rihanna is a young, messed up kid instead of just appreciating "Disturbia" and the fact that she looks like this.
Jennifer Garner's proximity to Ben Affleck? Dealbreaker. Abby Elliott's proximity to Chris Elliott? Dealbreaker.
So here are the girls from 2009 and the entire preceding decade with whom I most wanted to do a combination of fucking and socializing.
Top 10 Girls of 2009
10. Emilie de Ravin, 28 (not ranked) She dropped off the list last year. Her return in '10 is the equivalent of a doctor desperately trying to resuscitate a body that has already been pronounced dead. It's probably a fruitless venture, but why not give it one last go-'round. And if the final season of a super-popular network television show and a rom'-dram' with the world's most popular "it" actor can't get her firmly into the public eye than nothing will.
09. Emma Stone, 21 (not ranked) I'm guessing that Demi Moore and Kathleen Turner were young at one point. But since I can't prove it, I can really only use Emma Stone as an example of how terribly sexy a smokey voice is on someone so young. she also fills my overbite quota.
08. Alexis Bledel, 28 (7th) In a perfect world, Bledel and Zooey Deschanel would have a staring contest and I would be in charge of the Visine.
07. Rashida Jones, 33 (5th) A lot of the girls on this list went through a bangs phase back in the brief window of a few years ago when bangs were cool again. What I'm trying to say is, a lot of my favorite girls have big foreheads. So - surprise - I guess I'm a forehead and butt guy. 
06. Julianne Hough, 21 (6th) I want to spend some time in Utah and find out what goes on there that makes the women so beautiful. Has anyone else noticed this? I've met five Mormon girls in my lifetime (that I know of) and four of them were, at the very least, really cute. I didn't have anything to say to them. It wasn't that I was too nervous to speak, it was that I had spent five minutes hearing them speak and realized I had no interest in talking to them. Nevertheless, we've much to learn from the Mormons about breeding.
05. Gina Carano, 27 (not ranked) I went through a phase of really being into Pink (or P!nk) a few years back. I mostly liked her music, but also mostly thought she was hot. I never felt comfortable thinking this because, by and large, she wasn't hot. She was tough. A little crass. Seemed independent enough. Maybe I just like the idea of being around a woman I'm not convinced I can make cry if I really want to.
04. Emmanuelle Chriqui, 32 (10th) It really says something about this Israeli-Canadian that on a show designed to cram dozens of hot faceless naked women into frame each week, she's the one to whom "Entourage" chose to give lines.03. Mandy Moore, 25 (1st) I don't like her music, but I really want to. I don't like her movies, but I've seen every one hoping that I will. I'm not even a huge Ryan Adams fan, but I guess "Beautiful Sorta" was good enough that I can let it go. Mandy Moore is easily the most frustrating beautiful girl on my list.
02. Mila Kunis, 26 (8th) Whenever I watch animated films, I inevitably spend half the movie trying to figure out whose celebrity voice is doing each character. Then once I figure it out I can't help but picture that celebrity in the sound booth with headphones on, passionately emoting while recording the dialogue. I've seen too many behind-the-scenes featurettes not to do this. It's because I can't help doing this that "Family Guy" loses a little edge anytime Meg is involved. Meg is a short, dumpy, possibly lesbian teen who is unloved by her family. The girl providing the voice of Meg is none of those things. I also had this problem with Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson. Yeardley's almost 45 years old and the only problem with that is that I'm aware of it.
01. Minka Kelly, 29 (2nd) You know, if you absolutely had to have someone's sloppy seconds you couldn't hope to follow anyone better than Derek Jeter. Maybe Timberlake. Let's not split hairs. Also, can someone named Minka not be beautiful? It feels impossible. What would an ugly Minka even look like?Top 20 Girls of the Decade
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Cameron Diaz
Mandy Moore
Kate Hudson
Alexis Bledel
Katie Holmes
Britney Spears
Evangeline Lilly
Maggi Gyllenhaal
Lauren Graham
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